Begin with self

Have you ever tried offering water to someone from an empty glass? You might have done it absent-mindedly a couple of times, but upon realising the glass is empty, your first action will invariably be to fill your glass and then pour it for someone who is thirsty. We follow this logic generously for all material objects: we acquire it for ourselves first, and then offer a part of it to someone who might need them—money, food, status, assets, etc.

However, we tend to conveniently overlook this logic when it comes to feelings and emotions. We try to offer love when we have not loved ourselves first. We try to be compassionate to others when we have no compassion for ourselves. We try to forgive others while harbouring regret for ourselves. We often then wonder why the other person is unable to feel the love we are giving, the compassion we are showing, and why we still hold a slight grudge even though we have seemingly forgiven the other person. The answer is clear: because we didn’t have it in us to offer a part of it to someone else.

Now, consider what people generally feel—anger, hatred, insecurity. Each one blames another person for generating these negative feelings in them. As a matter of fact, if you are filled with love and someone shows you hatred, the power of love has the ability to diminish (maybe not nullify) the power of hatred.

Therefore, leave everything else aside and understand yourself first, love yourself first, show compassion to yourself first, forgive yourself first, and celebrate yourself first. Only when you have it within you can you give it out to the world. Stop living in the illusion that you can give what you do not have!